29 August 2017

Two Months

The 25th was two months since she died, it was also my birthday. My first one without her in 29 years.

There are no easy days, only some that are slightly less hard.

We have moved back to Minnesota, we spent more time here than anywhere else. The memories here are our happiest.

I haven't been able to go into the woods yet, though I have the time. She was always there to come home to, now I am terrified of the feeling I will have coming back. She was always eager to hear of my adventure, no matter how small.

Now there is silence.
I wish I could talk to her.


  1. When you are ready, you will go to the woods. You will probably find that the good memories will make life easier. Happy birthday. Take care and God bless.

  2. You can and always should talk to her. She will hear you. And when you listen, you will hear her as well. In the trees and the wind. She will always be there.

  3. New to your blog, and I've enjoyed just about everything I've read, and your advice has made my life better, as a young man I look up to experienced fellows who care enough to share their knowledge and lives, like yourself. I hope you can find a way to keep making people's lives better, whether it's through helping your family or friends, teaching people what you know or just letting people know they're not alone.
    There will be dark days ahead but if people gave up in times of tragedy, our lineages would have ceased to exist, our knowledge would never have been passed down, our heritage would have disappeared. Keep going, thoughts and prayers, and I look forwards to your next post.

  4. Loosing a loved person is always painful, nothing can fill that gap; the only thing you can do is wait until time eases the pain and remind yourself that she lives on in your children. They are the only thing in which we live on. I can fully understand that you don't got out to the great outdoors at the moment; there were times in my life when I felt similar, but looking back I regret that I isolated myself and did nothing. It is okay for a while because the wounded soul needs a rest, but one soon day you´ll be back on your feet again. No loss will ever be forgotten, but we all have to carry on, because life has to move on and you are needed, especially your kids need you now more than ever.

    I hope that helps you a little,....excuse my english, it's not the very best ;-)

    Best Regards from rainy Germany


  5. I hear your pain, brother.
    And there's nothing any of us can do to ease that.
    But you will overcome it eventually, because that is what you do. That is what you are. That is what I have come to know you for, even if it only is digitally.
    You will carry her with you, no matter where you are.
    Wishing you all the strength you need.

  6. They say time heals old wounds
    But this will never heal
    The scar will stay forever
    Wear it with sorrow and with pride

    Pride that you love her
    And she loves you
    Though nothing will be the same
    And everything has changed

    Talk to her
    Talk to Him
    Let them guide you
    Let your children know it's ok to do the same
    And tell them to stay
    And help ease your worries

    Take her with you on your journey
    Tucked away close to your heart
    But just beneath the surface
    And bring her out when she calls to you

    She waits for you to be again
    And to see her smile shining back at yours

    I know not what you are going through
    Just thinking outloud
    I am sorry for your loss
    If you ever need to, give me a shout

  7. Happy birthday Jim. Give me a call sometime so we can get together. I would love to just hang out with you again.

  8. I am deeply sorry to read this. I had followed you a few years ago, and my wife and I (and two daughters) were in a battle with ovarian cancer. Sadly, we lost her. It will be two years ago next month.
    You summed it up perfectly.
    I am sorry for your loss, and wish you strength to move forward.